Some People Never Learn
by Naseka
Summary: As she is a great dispiser of meetings, Clarisse tries her best to encourage Joseph to skip it with her. Will she succeed? ONESHOT R & R!


Queen Clarisse wasn't looking forward to meeting with the parliamentary men at the winter castle, in fact, she almost called to cancel it, but her ever-insistent assistant, Charlotte informed her she must attend. Many meetings like this were called during the year, particularly during the cold weather, today she couldn't bear having to sit through it and would look for any excuse not to go.

He watched her face tense through the rear-view mirror, she obviously had better things to do, places she'd rather be, but she was stuck with royal duties, there would be no time for fun.

"Clarisse are you feeling alright?"

"Unfortunately yes."

"Why is that unfortunate?"

"If I weren't alright then I'd have an excuse not to attend."

"But you have to admit that going to these meetings is better than being stuck in bed with the flu."

"I couldn't admit that, I could never admit that. I would rather be sick than go to another one of these meetings, they're so pointless! Why don't you pull over so we can have some private time, we'll call ahead and say we have a flat tire, that would waste some time."

He smiled at her quick thinking and her craving for him, "Your majesty, as much as I'd love to, I think it would be best to follow today's schedule. You skipped your last three meetings to spend a couple of hours with me, which I appreciate, but you have a duty, you have to attend."

"But they're so boring!"

"Maybe so, but you accepted the king's proposal all those years ago, which gave you a duty to attend meetings, amongst other things."

She watched the back of his head for a moment as he observed the road, his hair was becoming less and less visible, "Have you ever considered going to a hair doctor?"

Joseph's eyebrows hit the roof, "Where did that come from? It's so random."

"I was just wondering. I think it'd make you look quite hansom."

She leant forward and ran her hand up his neck and over his scalp, "Quite hansom indeed."

Quickly he glanced at her, her face was an inch from his, her lips were readying themselves for an attack on his flesh, "Don't try it Clarisse, remember what happened last time you tried to seduce me when I was driving?"

She smiled, remembering the day her hormones got the better of her and landed both she and Joseph in the middle of a muddy field, "But that's not going to happen this time, is it Joseph?"

"What makes you so sure?"

"Because the only thing I'm going to kiss today is your face."

"I'm sorry, that's still too distracting."

"Nothing's going to go wrong, I promise."

"Nothing will have a chance go wrong provided you stay back there."

Clarisse very slowly slid her hands down his chest, hoping he would come around, but he didn't, "Would you stop that please? I don't fancy spending another night cleaning mud off my shoes."

"Come on Joseph, I need something to think about to keep me occupied during that meeting."

"Maybe you should take a book in with you."

She folded her arms across her chest as she fell into the back seat, he wasn't as easy to persuade as last time.

"Now can you please just keep your beautiful behind on that seat while I drive?"

Clarisse pouted, she didn't like it when she didn't get her own way - luckily she had something else planned.

Slowly, but surely, she started sliding her way, yes sliding, down the seat. Lifting her feet, she slid them up the back of his seat, giggling as she wiggled her toes against the back of his head. Keeping a straight face, he let her, it was much like a head massage, only with feet. Nice smelling feet, the most intoxicating fragrance in the world, he thought. No! He should keep his mind on the road, not her feet, but how could he? They were so smooth, so delightfully scented and probably taste like roses. Joseph was quite aware of what she was expecting him to do, but he wouldn't dare lick her toes, not after the last time, he had to concentrate on the road ahead.

"Clarisse, you really shouldn't be playing these games when the road is wet."

"It's not the only thing around here that's wet."

"Oh please, Clarisse, I just ate lunch!"

She leaned forward and gave him a light slap on the face, "I didn't hear you complaining last week."

Joseph knew his temper could only go so far and that he should put a stop to this before it went any further, "Clarisse I really think you should-"

Suddenly he found he couldn't speak, her lips were glued to his, her head blocked his vision of the road. They were sent flying off the road, through some bushes and into a muddy paddock. The force of Joseph slamming on the breaks caused Clarisse to fly over the seat and land in his lap. He looked down at her, she was smiling innocently, even though she was anything but innocent, "I knew this would happen, Clarisse! I told you this would happen!"

He thought for a moment, "How long do you think it will take the rescue team to get here?"

"Oh, I'd say about half an hour…at least half an hour."

"Hmm…" He tapped his fingers on the dashboard, "I'd better call and tell parliament you're going to be late."

Widening her smile, Clarisse climbed into the back and grabbed his collar, pulling him along with her, this was going to be one meeting she could very much enjoy.

* * *

This was just something I started writing last night and decided to finish today. Hope you enjoyed it. R&R!

* * *

I have a CHALLENGE if anyone is interested, I call it the 'Drive Me Crazy' challenge.

The idea is that Clarisse asks Joseph to teach her how to drive on account of it being so long since she last sat behind the wheel.


End file.
